Candidates Support the SuperBros

The beaches of Patagonia were relatively quiet today after a week of somewhat chaotic activity that accompanied an estimated four hundred thousand occupying penguins. As the occupation nears the end of its first week, the only excitement today accompanied rumors that Argentinian leaders are in negotiations with the U.S. government to arrange amnesty for SuperL and SuperMike. Many celebrities and high profile political leaders in SuperL's home country have also lent their voices to the amnesty movement.

Barack Obama paused on the campaign trail in Pennsylvania today to field questions about his position on the FBI's pursuit of the young superhero. "The information to which I am privvy in no way demonstrates probable cause to charge SuperL with conspiring with militant penguins. In fact, there is no evidence that PISSED OFF NOW has undertaken any militant protest of any kind in the United States. Penguin sympathizers and good people in small towns across American are bitter, I think justifiably, about the government's pursuit of a young superhero. A young hero who is an an obvious force for good in this world."

Not to be outdone in the scramble to align with the popular SuperBros in the public mind, Hillary Clinton offered her own statement of support. "I just feel so strongly that this whole thing has gone wrong, that there's a better way. I wouldn't be in this thing if I didn't think I could make a difference in penguin and superhero lives!" Her voice breaking with rare tears, Hillary shook her head to refuse additional questions and excused herself for a joint interview with Eminem.


In a cautious celebration, SuperY and SuperH led several thousand penguins in the largest Hokey Pokey dance in recorded history. The Guiness Book of World Records reportedly sent a representative to Patagonia to confirm the event for its 2009 edition. "It was a little touch and go there at first, because we had to change the words a bit for our audience," admitted SuperY. "With penguins, you have to sing you put your left wing in, you put your left wing out...instead of arm...you know. So at first the Guiness rep didn't know if it was really the Hokey Pokey."


"Yeah, but once we invited him to join us, that was all it took. He said it was the best Hokey Pokey he'd ever danced." SuperH finished the story and exchanged high fives with his superbro. When asked if they would point out their youngest bro in the crowd, the SuperBros refused to comment. "No can do," SuperH said. "If we told you, we'd have to keep you here 'til the occupation is over," said SuperY.


With SuperL's freedom from pursuit appearing imminent, it was tempting to make that bargain. Given the alarming size of the piles of guano surrounding the penguin protest, however, this reporter wasn't ready to risk that fate. Today, the fugitive superheroes remain undercover and unsighted.