Breaking News from the Edge of the World

In an unprecedented display of collective action, over the past 24 hours thousands of penguins have gathered in South America to protest U.S law enforcement officials' pursuit of SuperL, and to call the world's attention to the melting of the polar ice caps. Originally begun by members of PISSED OFF NOW, the protest has spontaneously grown far beyond the organizers' projected estimates of penguin participation. As the numbers of penguins on the shores of Patagonia grow, rumors are circulating that the protest may take the form of an occupation.

PROTESTING PENGUINS NUMBER
IN THE THOUSANDS
From reports on the ground we know that penguins
are carrying signs, and others are clustering around small flag poles flying makeshift protest flags. "We're with you, SuperMom!" "We heed your call, SuperMom!" "Your Hummer today, Our Death tomorrow" "CAFE standards for Life" ...the range of sentiments in the signs suggest this crowd that some estimate at four hundred thousand hopes to call attention to both the short term rescue of SuperL and the long range rescue of the arctic climates.

"At this point we do not intend to intervene. We're just keeping a close eye on the situation," said a coastal Patagonia official who requested anonymity, citing fear of reprisal by CIA agents he has seen in the vicinity. "Our leadership here in Argentina is talking with the U.S. administration. We're hoping the U.S. will reassess its case against SuperL. From the information to which I'm privy, it sounds like that young superhero is just being made an example of. For a nation that won't regulate its mileage standards, the U.S. is awful quick to condemn a cute bunch of birds for seeking to preserve their way of life."

Whether or not the official continues to refer to penguins as "cute" may depend on whether this gathering disperses in short order or becomes a lengthy occupation. Meanwhile, Argentina is commandeering all porta-potties for delivery to the site of the protest, and has asked fishermen to donate their unsold fish to feed the gathered flock. When asked if they made these gestures out of sympathy for the penguins' plight, administrators would neither confirm nor deny.